Things I learned this weekend and part of last week
Never name your daughter Chastity. Sure you want her to be chase, but she’ll probably be a slut.
Never take a picture of you looking like your eating and island or anything phallic. Always looks like youre with a penis.
Never go drinking with a guy who says broski. You are bound to get white boy wasted.
Take uber when your drunk. Expect to get in a fight with the driver if your friend throws up in the car.
I hate Aaron Rodgers. He just so damn good.
Never trust Josh Smith, he sucks.
Never trust a guy named Kermit.
I’m too old to be drinking 151.
Puerto Ricans always have a Puerto Rican flag on them or close by.
Sometimes there is your favorite waitress at a restaurant. Always ask for her. Make sure you never get nubbin fries at Leon’s Full Service.
You know how there are flaky people in the world. Make sure you never invite them to stuff. Maybe they’ll change. Maybe they won’t but at least they won’t f’ up your plans.
Industry rule People are SHADY!!!!!
It’s a wonderful life is soooooo GOOD. I can always watch that movie.
If a girl has a nose ring, I think I’m too old for her.
Cast Iron pans….always good
I think I like yoga pants on all women. I’ve seen big small medium all kinds of women in them. Can’t say I ever was like nah I don’t like that.
This guy used customer information at the bank to get her number. After he texted her, he realized it was a bad idea. Guys are stupid.\
Lumber sexual……
Girls have interesting jewelery necklaces. Like those big things with like teal stones. Looks cool. Like their royalty for a long long time ago. When things were simpler.
Gluten free just showed up like 3 yuears ago and about 35% of people think they have a gluten allergy.
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