Sabotage

I've been wondering this for a long time. Do I go around sabotage myself? I am not sure. Looking back at my years, I have made many mistakes. I wouldn't say that I was doing that purposely. But I second guess myself. I wonder if I actually sabotage myself because I am scared of an outcome. Maybe in the back of my mind I think I don't deserve things to be great. But things can and should be great in my life. Am I the one holding myself back from greatness?

I see that in my past romantic relationships. I was always scared to let it go to the next level. The level where I have to be vulnerable. You know like let them know who I really am. I feel like I would put up roadblocks. I see it in my career. I would get scared of responsibility and lose drive. I even see it in my relationship with God. I try to hang on and grip the things of this world like a vicegrip.

But this is a new day. A new day means that I can change. I can make sure that I will be great. I can make sure that I can be a better man. 1% better every day.