48/100 office stuff

So we have this drawing for the holidays. If you do X amount of something you get to have a chance for a prize. We have Christmas ornaments on the tree and each one is numbered. Each number belongs to a certain prize. I pulled 29. My one and only pull. Somebody had four pulls. The ornaments prize was 20 dollars to PF Changs. Just my luck I thought an Asian guy gets a gift card to an Asian restaurant.

47/100 UMMMM....

Yeah So I was walking to the printer and I was looking at this girls chest. I basically was getting up and raising my head to walk in front of me and I see these big things. She looked back at me kinda peeved. I looked at her guilty. She was wearing a really low cut shirt. I was defeated before I even had a chance to defend myself. The question is "Am I in fault?" I already know she has fake enhancements. So, obviously she wants attention or she had an insecurity.

This is the not the first time in my life where I was caught looking at a girls chest or behind. I do feel bad like I had my hand in the cookie jar. But beauty should be appreciated, but next time more discreetly.

46/100 Free Sh*t

What makes people love free sh*t so much??? I could be the crappiest thing but people love free stuff. We have contests at work sometimes to motivate people and we love those contests. Shouldn't the contest in life matter more than a short term contest? We go out and do more stuff for the free or reduced price stuff then the things taht probably matter more. Example: 5 years ago the 76ers had this promotion of 76 cents per gallon at this one gas station for about 3 hours. I know this gas station. I am determined to go. I see the line is about 75 cars long. I left and I heard on the news people waited for 2 hours more. Why don't you just work an hour longer and make some money. Free sh*t is good, but damn it seems like a waste of time most of the time.

Post 45/100 Shek

Shek means Jerk in Konglish (Korean English) slang. Someone said my nickname should be shek. It felt kinda harsh, but after a day or so I have accepted the title. I will wear the crown of shek proudly. I love being a shek or should I say love being myself. Why shouldn't we make fun of each other or say inappropreiate things? Sure, it might hurt someones feelings but get over it. Your grown. We are not children anymore. Shit people say shouldn't sting you that much because most people in the world are idiots. Now, when a person you respect and love says something. It does hurt, but you know what maybe you need to hear that stuff. You need to hear that you are not the best thing on Earth and have an ego. I use to teach youth kids. They were in highschool. The think they are cool, at least the kids I taught. I use to cut them down every opportunity I got. They love me to this day because of it. So if I am a shek to you, its all out of love. If you are offended, go develop some thicker skin.

44/100 Families

God has blessed me with different families. It is difficult being away from your real family. I'm close to my family and a lot of times I miss just being with them. Not just talking to them or seeing them, but physically being close to them. We don't have to say words, but just knowing they are there makes me feel good.

I have been blessed to have multiple families here in Atlanta. Church has become my friends and family. At times, I thought it was kinda pathetic that all my friends were from church. I realized that these people are some of the best people that I know. Why should I be ashamed of that? I should proclaim and praise God for placing awesome people in my life. This is going to be the 4th year that I will not be home for Thanksgiving. I will be celebrating with my church family. It is such a blessing to have people in my life to care about me. Even if they think I'm a shek. Even if they call me a shek all the time thats love.

The people at my work have become more and more my family also. Today we are doing a potluck. I am not only excited about food, but sharing life. Its awesome just sharing stories. We understand the difficulties of the job. The stress and pressure of this job. Although, many people have come and gone. We grow strong. There are some quality people here and I am blessed to have them around me.

Post 43/100 Ethics

I went to lunch with my coworker and he was put in a dilemma. Do something shady and get the deal done or keep your integrity and just take the loss? We told him that the punishment outweighs the reward. He was listening to us but he kept bringing up how much money he was gonna lose.

I was put in that situation as we all were. I still see something and think "man I could just steal this". I think sometimes but of course the sensible, moral part of you clears your head. Is it really worth going to jail or messing someone up by doing this for this short term reward??? No. But I guess God puts these challenges in front of us and tries to test our mettle.

Post 42/100 Color inside the lines

So baically, I've never been great at listening to directions. I don't read most invitations or long emails. I just get so bored. Example: My dad told me to pick him up from the airport at 11 on New Years Eve. I go out to the airport and hes not there.I call him and hes like I said 11pm. DOH!!! I just assumed he meant 11 am because who would get a flight on new years eve at 11pm. I guess he did.

There are many more examples in my life. Missing events or going to places at the wrongs time. I really need to be organized more. Most of the time it doesnt really bother me too much. This is one of the things I need to work on.

Post 41/100 Were Done here right

One day, I see a friend kinda in a cafe. She was on the computer. I say whats up and she says that she was killing time. She had to wait for this thing. We made small talk and then there was this silence. This silence usually signifies that the conversation is over. I asked her the question " So were done here right?" I immediately regretted my comments. It was really weird to say that. The truth of the matter was that the conversation was probably over. She said that she was thinking of  a question. I really believe  that the conversation was over.

The truth is that we don't really talk about those situations. Those social situations where society deems us to follow these rules like if you see someone you know you have to do these stop and chats. Sometimes you dont even know these peoples names but you have talk to these people because society says so. So many rules that we have to abide by. DAMN IT!!!

Post 40/100 Fertility Clinic

My office is located on the same floor as this fertility clinic. I ride the elevator with some of the patients every now and then. Were in the elevator for maybe 30-40 seconds. By now, I can tell who is going to that clinic. Most of the time they are dressed pretty casually.

When I look into their faces, the reactions are always the best. Sometimes, its nervousness and anxiousness. Other times, they are pretty happy. Maybe because of the hope of getting a baby . I usually build stories in my head of what is going on. What the specific situation is. Maybe they have been trying for years.thinking about some crazy situations.

Sometimes there are women and men just donating their "stuff". I really can't tell those people apart from the other. I wonder, should I ever donate??? Have little Dan Parks running around with me not ever knowing they are my seed.

Post 39/100 When that Day Comes!

I talked with my friends today and we were talking about the things we push back. We push it back and back. We say someday. Then that day comes and we are like crap. I've wasted my days and not accomplished my goals. I wonder if I will be satisfied with some of the decisions.

Maybe I have to sideline some goals to acheive something I've never thought of. I was reading a piece on Diane Keaton. She had to put her career ahead of a family. It was the exact opposite of what her mother has done. She always wondered if her mother could have been. If she would have still been happy with her decision.

I always wish I would know different outcomes in my life. What if I went to UCLA or Penn State? What would have my life looked like? Would I ever have done what I have done? Maybe I'd be dead in a ditch who knows.

I think basically when the day comes I am not regretting that I haven't accomplished the goals I wanted to do. I need to basically motivate myself and complete all the things I want to do. If I don't, I say I tried and keep it moving.