Door-to-Door

Sometimes stuff just works out better if you seem like you dont give a crap. I think that I've been at so many job interviews that I just didn't care as much as I use to. Don't get me wrong to some extent I cared, but it wasn't going to end my world if I didn't get it. I think I perform much better that way. I use to be a sales guy and I went door to door, toughest job in the world. But it did teach me a lot. I learned not to care and that every customer was a good thing but not the most important thing. It taught me how to move on quickly. It taught me to give my best shot everytime. Come up with new strategies and take the brakes necessary to get focused again. It taught how to get over rejection and not get down on myself but to see a goal. You have to constantly have this goal in mind and not worry about these small things. I guess these are the lessons that always keep me going and keep me fighting in life these days.

Music from 2012

My favorite Albums of 2012:

Hip- Hop and R&B

Miguel- Kalidescope Dreams

Frank Ocean- Channel Orange

Kendrick Lamar- Good Kid Maad City

Big Sean- Detroit

Meek Mill- Dreams and Nightmares

Nas- Life is Good

Usher- Looking 4 Myself

SchoolBoy Q- Habits and Contradictions

Common- Dreamer/Believer

Potential to be on the list:

Game-Jesus Piece

Wiz Khalifa- ONIFC

Wu-BLock

Favorite Songs

Hip-Hop and R&B

Nas- Bye Baby

Frank Ocean- Thinking about you, Pyramids

Miguel- Adorn, Thrill

Meek Mill- Amen

SchoolBoy Q- Hands on the Wheel

Kendrick Lamar- Backseat Freestyle, 

Rick Ross- Stay Schemin

Slaughterhouse- Our House(Extended Version)

Future- Same Damn Time Remix

Juicy J Bandz Make a Dance

(more to come)

OH SH*T I'M AN ADULT

A couple of years ago I had this revelation. I looked in the mirror and thought. I am 25 with a job and I pay my bills mostly on time. OH SH*T I'M AN ADULT. Fast forward to now and although I still am an adult I do not know what the F' I am doing. Comedian Joe Rogan has a bit about when we are young we think by the time we are adults we will have everything figured out. Little do we know is that the older we get the more lost we are. At least for me, I try to look like I have my stuff together but my life is one big rubberband ball. Complicated, many colors and it takes a lot of time to unwrap. I thought I would have everything together by now. But shit I dont have anything together. My mom called me the other day and reminded me that I was an adult and I should have my life setup.

Do we ever know what to do or do we just fake the funk and make up things as we go? Or is it just me...Is my growth being stunted? I wonder if these are age old questions or if I have too much time on my hands thinking about useless stuff.

Sauce

I went to a festival one day. At the festival, they have many different tents. Some of the tents have art and some of the others have food. As I was passing one of the tents by, I mentioned to my friend I wanted to be like this guy at the tent.

This guy was an asian guy in his late 20's or early 30's. He looked like the owner and had about two or three people working for him. Looking at this guy, you can come up with a couple of things.
1 He is pretty smart
2 his parents probably wanted him to become a lawyer or doctor
3 Loves what he does

The reason why I wanted to be like this guy is because this guy followed his passion. His passion for sauce. He didn't become an engineer or doctor because he really loved this sauce. So much love and passion that he decided he would bottle sauce and share his passion with other people. Believe in it so much that he doesn't care about the money at least right now.

I've been wondering what is my "sauce". Looked into my life. I love people, music, gambling, art and sports. But i'm not sure that I love those things so much that I would like to make it my one goal in life to follow and pursue. So hopefully in the next few years I will find my sauce.

IN PURSUIT OF MY SAUCE!!!!!

Little Wins

Ok mark this down as a DanParkism. "you need a little win everyday because life is gonna suck one day and you have to draw strength on those little wins to survive the big loss." BTW I sound like an asshole by calling it a DanParkism. So sorry. I think over the past years I have been living with this mantra. It started with the Ramen challenge (Refer to  ). Everyday I try to do something that I count as a little win. It could be working out, getting a smile from a stranger, meeting a new person, finding something out about myself or just learning something new. Example: I've been studying Spanish. I went somewhere and recognized the Spanish phrase. I said "Self, you are learning a lot amigo." Win for the day.I call myself "self" sometimes. So try to get a win everyday and maybe write it down. Have a win bank and when that day comes and you need to take solace in something look at those times.

Songs of the day:
Bye Baby- Nas
I really love this song because he just lays everything on the carpet. His divorce was public and he tells the details of what happened. He is not afraid to get intimate with the audience, unlike many of the other rappers. Favorite part is:

And all I seen was selfish cowards, under they breath
Saying why did Nas trust her
But look at yourself, speak louder bro
You live with your babymoms and scared to make an honest woman out of her
And make her your bride, fake pimps you ain’t even alive
At least I can say I tried plus enjoyed the ride
Plus we got our little boy, my little joy and pride
He got my nose, my grill, your colour, your eyes
Next go round I hope I pick the truest type and watch me do it all again
It’s a beautiful life, aight

He enjoyed it and will do it again for the sake of love. Nas the street poet.

LA

Going back to LA.

Tell me some places to go.

Cooking

So lately Ive been cooking for people more and more. I like doing it. But the problem is that I only have like 6 things in my repetoire. I need to develop more. I think I have been cooking more so I can use these people as guinea pigs so when I really need to impress some one I can do it well. Sounds evil.

Actually some of the things I said up there is a lie. Ive only cooked for people twice in the last two weeks. hahaha. But I do enjoy it. I really need to learn how to cook some fancy stuff and blow the panties off of people. Or just one girl. I have been thinking about cooking classses. I have no monies though. I was watching several things off of youtube but they are just ok. I need to learn how to get better with the knife. Get my OJ Simpson game on lock. Even cooking for myself is a pain in the ass. But cooking for yourself is usually the best thing. Maybe I should start practicing for myself.

BTW the BET awards were yesterday. I got to say GOOD Music (Kanyes Group) killed it. I dont have cable so I only saw the performances. Cant find the video. If you want to watch look for yourself.

bathroom

The bathroom subject has been big in my life right now. So when I was younger I never liked using the public bathroom. I dont think anyone does. I remember taking a poop in elementary school and being so embarrassed. But I had to go really badly. I went to Catholic school and we all had a bathroom time. So I snuck in there. Trying to be discreet as possible, but it was a watery one. Sounded like a bunch of pig slop hitting a puddle. Came out and the kids teased me. By the time I was in highschool, it was pretty normal to take craps. At my job it became a safe haven. A place where I can get away for 15 minutes. We have these motion sensors at work and sometimes the lights would go off while im still on the toilet. Smart phones have revolutionized taking a crap. You dont have to take a magazine in there anymore. You have games, emails, articles and could even do work while your in there now.

Im a fast person on the toliet especially at home. I dont like to waste time. Go in, clean up and leave. Everyone is different. Some people bring their own wet wipes. I think sometimes maybe I should switch it up and become more efficient some way. I dunno we have a whole life of being on the toilet ahead of us.

Heres a funny video:

Father's Day

So a couple of posts ago, I wrote about my mother and how great she is. My father and I do not have that kind of relationship. Really, we dont have any relationship at all. My father left my mom and me when I was about 4. Since then, we really haven't had too much a relationship. I had bitterness and anger towards him. Now all I have is apathy for him. It sucks but thats life right.

But I'll keep on trying to build something with him. Blood is Blood I guess.

June 1st

June first has always been an important day for me. It is the day I left my mother's house and lived out on my own. I went to a new city. I didn't know anyone and said that I will try to make it on my own. So I called my mom and told her this. Her reaction was what did you do with your time so far. I just drove around the whole day and thought what I did these last four years. A bunch of jobs that haven't really helped me figure what I want to do, no dating relationship currently and it seems like a whole lot of nothing at least on the surface.

There is one thing that has happened. I changed. I'm not sure when it happened. Maybe its been a culmination of the last four years, but when I talk to people who knew me in the past they said I have changed. Changed for the better. My mom mentioned it the last time I saw her. I guess when your parent says something like that it weighs the most. It seems like most of the time they are disappointed in you,  but for them to say that you changed for the better. She said I was more responsible and a couple of other nice things. I gave her the "WTF" look. I was kind of shocked she would tell me that.

So I guess the last four years have been great for my own personal development. Hopefully in the next couple of years, I can look back and say that much more has changed for the better.